Thursday, 3 April 2014

National Poem Month

I've decided to take part in NaPoWriMo, I did if two years ago with some semi good results, might start writing a poem in my lunch break at work (yes I got a job!). Today's prompt was to press the button on the Bilbliomancy Oracle and write a poem based on the quote you get.

'You can only disappear once and then they will find you out.
Swift and certain chaos will tell you to try your luck again.'
from “Three Ghazals for Departure” by Leigh Stein

Ghazals on first impression
Are lofty desert tents, until I 
The watered down unpractised poet, 
Realises they are a form of something.
A form better than my attempt to braid my hair 
As the lockes full loose as my layers of 
Petaling hair refuse to be combined into order. 

Chaos could be welcome, if it had an agenda. But like 
My hair that grows too slowly, I treadle my path 
Too slowly, an eastly and easy target for disaster,
Until I shake off the shame and ashes for the next time 
I need to be found. 

Sunday, 12 January 2014

New Year Resolutions

I can't believe it's almost half way through January, don't ask me what I've been up to recently, I'm honestly not sure! Now everyone will have the usual new year resulotions to shift a few pounds, get healthier, eat less etc, and I'm not far off that either. I was rather shocked to find I've got to my heaviest ever, but rather than dieting, I've decided to change my attitude to eating and learn to listen to my body a bit more.

My other new resolution is to get back into the freelance writing, I know I've griped about it, but needs must for money. I think the break has really helped me, and I know I need to make a few other changes and get on looking for a better job with career prospects. As mum said, I need a career, not a job. 

I also need to be less self focused, I did the unforgivable of forgetting Mum's birthday on Wednesday. I have never before done that, somehow over the last few months I've got more self focused but not in a positive way. I did have a job interview but god that was still awful of me to forget until the afternoon. Even worse my brother and dad had forgotten! It's been hard not to look past the end of my nose at the moment due to stresses of money and general life, but I need to be more cheerful and less weighed down by everything. 

Monday, 30 December 2013

A year in perspective

2013 was an interesting year for me with many firsts....but I don't feel it's been my best. I think over the last year the pressures of adult life have really caught up with me, and somehow along the way when I thought I was really free, I feel more tied down than ever before. But that's a state of mind, one I need to work hard to change. 

In 2013 the major achievements were:

  • Graduating with a Masters in Creative Writing
  • Getting paid freelance work
  • Moving out into my own flat and being financially independent
  • Meeting my wonderful boyfriend and being together for over four months and a day (hey, I'm not counting that closely)
Major revelations of 2013:
  • Living on your own is expensive, and sometimes quite stressful making ends meet on a below min wage income
  • Time runs away from you when there's things to tidy and put away. I rather like organising my bedroom, it can be fun.
  • Getting paid to write does not always mean that it's fun.
  • Somehow in the day to day stuff I've lost that sense of magic creative writing used to bring me. 

Now I'm not a huge believer of new year resolutions, but writing needs to be back in my life, I'm missing something. My blog for the last two years has been me whinging, and life is too short for that. Time to write.

Saturday, 7 December 2013

It could be that time of year...

It could of course be the fact Christmas is coming ever closer and I'm feeling a bit festive this year. Christmas has become a bit of a none holiday for me, all this big build up to a strained day with the family, but a few factors are different this year. I have my own home to decorate to my liking, I also have plans to spend it with my boyfriend, a concept that was alien for a very long time. It seems to be gearing up to be a nice holiday. I am working Christmas Day but that's only the morning and it'll be great seeing the kids unwrap their mountain of presents. 

It's only been a few days since I went on my copywriting break, but suddenly writing some words on a story is becoming absorbing. It feels like such a long time I have felt like that when writing, its a strangely intense feeling but a good feeling. I still feel rather unsure if what I'm writing is any good, or if I can still actually tell a story without being boring or losing the point. 

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter, the fact is that I'm writing a little again, and that means it's a start. 

Friday, 29 November 2013

Career Expansion Time

My last few entries haven't been the most positive or most uplifting, a poor reflection on myself a person. Generally I am happy and people seem to think I'm nice to be around, but recently I have felt something creeping in almost unseen and unheard. 


I've been getting a bit bored with my jobs, I feel that it's not exactly leading me anywhere career wise. Having a fulfilling job is a strange idea to me. Feeling passionate about something isn't something I've felt for a long time, and copy writing doesn't exactly get my blood flowing. I'm not half bad at copy writing when I set myself to it, after all I'm a creative writer. The advice often goes that you shouldn't have a job related to writing, and I'm now a firm believer of that. I see copy writing as a skill rather than a job title, I've spent the last year writing all sorts of copy, and I feel I can expand my skills into a sector such as marketing, that way I can possibly start climbing up a ladder towards something. 

So I've come back to the good old fashioned internship route, it's the best way to find some experience, and if it's remote it can save me a bit of money in commuting, as I don't really have the chance to get away from my current part time jobs to afford London rail tickets.

So on this decision I have decided to pause my freelance writing activities on, it's been a great website to help me figure out my career for the last few months, but writing copy just isn't making me happy, it's a means to an end. 

So, it's time to mix it up and give the big wide world a proper go.

Thursday, 21 November 2013

Why I've avoided NaNoWriMo......


Exactly that reason, I'm struggling to form words at the moment. Life is steering me towards another path and I can't pick up its hints at the moment. I think life needs jump on a soapbox and shout or wave something bright and shiny in my face. Last year I was SO excited for NaNoWriMo, I jumped into it like I knew I was going to swim and even though the great odds of sinking were there. 

This year's run up was rather like this.

August: 'I should really plan something, maybe one of my old novel ideas modernised....oh wait I need to get this blog done for a client, then I need to be off to the pub and working first thing in the morning. I'll do it later.'

September: 'Character names.....character even full stop.....can I even think up a decent character now? All I know about it telling someone how shiny this kitchen is and why they should buy it... I'll do something later.'

October: 'I need to think up a storyline, or just even the opening, nothing seems to inspire me any more. Maybe if I just open a document and start writing....'

End of October: 'NaNoWriMo starts in a couple days and I still don't feel anything right now. Maybe if I pretend it's not there it'll go away and never have existed, but last year was such a good experience....'

Early November: 'Crap.....NaNoWriMo started a few days ago. Too late for me to start anything I guess.' 

I suppose personal life wise things are good, I've been sorting out my huge to do list of stuff such as get a new sofa sorted out, the toilet is finally getting fixed today, and if I can sweet talk the guy fixing the toilet, he might even get a ladder and change the lightbulbs for me, cos hey, when your ceiling is nearly 15ft high, it is a little difficult to reach it with a chair.

So it's only a few days left until NaNoWriMo is over this year, but maybe I'll take up my pen again next year when the odds are a little more favourable and I'm not killing inspiration with copywriting. Just maybe next year....

Thursday, 3 October 2013

Keeping on track

I'm wondering if all this blog writing is a good idea for the long run, it's rather humdrum and isn't really stretching my brain at all. I might need to look at a career change, maybe go into marketing. I'm not quite doing it right at the moment, but a good friend of mine has suggested I do a guest post on his blog, so I'm going to link his latest article on here. He's well worth a read and I'd highly recommend his services!